the doors

so today was a little much for me to process on my own, so i am going to write about it. try and imagine being on a random floor in a huge hospital, where behind each door resides someone with a story. it's kind of surreal. i knock on the door and most of the time have NO idea what i will find on the other side. some people are alert, and many are so weak that it takes a lot for them to even acknowledge my presence. some people have a faithful family member or friend sitting by their side, and many have no one to speak of. some people kindly thank me for stopping by but have no desire to talk, and many are ready to tell this stranger their deepest thoughts, pains, and desires. it's crazy.


here is a sampling of what i found on the other side of the doors today:


a woman who was patiently waiting for a surgery where her leg was to be amputated. she had her bible open next to her and the upper room devo on her lap. she told me that god is good and that god is the only thing she needs to hold on to. she feared nothing.


the next room was a daughter combing out the hair of her drug overdosed mother who has been in a coma for 5 days. she was caring for the woman who never took the responsibility of raising her daughter, but that mattered not for this sweet young woman who had just manicured her mom's nails and who said, "god still has my momma laying down because he's talking to her, he needs to tell her how precious her life is so that she'll appreciate it and take care of it when she comes out of this. this was the only way she was gonna listen."


the next room was a middle-aged man who has no family, no job, and probably no insurance, but who said that the lord is his shepherd. i prayed with him last week and he told me he'd been waiting for me to come back so he could show me what he wrote on the wipe off board that the nurses use to put their names on, the date, etc. he'd written the 23rd psalm on it so that he could glance over and read it every time he experienced pain, which occurred more often than any of us would care to imagine. eventually he asked me if i'd pray again, so i did. then i opened my eyes to him crying, realizing that the truth he had spoken to me in those fifteen minutes was evoking an emotion in me that suddenly brought tears to my eyes.


there were a few more rooms before this last visit where i walked in on a woman whose face was swollen, and blood was streaming, not dripping, out of her nose and mouth. she was being tended to by family. i quickly said, "i'm the chaplain...i'll stop back by later." i was ready to back it on up out of there! then the woman said, no you can come in, i could use a prayer. so i scurried over to the bed and grabbed her hand, only to find that the nurse had followed me in and quickly inserted herself in the prayer circle before we bowed. i tried not to rush, but i was so worried about the bleeding. as my eyes opened i tried not to wince when i saw that the bleeding hadn't miraculously stopped...it was quite a scene, but it was obviously important for her to bow before the lord right in the middle of the suffering.


seriously...i could go into way more detail on each of these people i encountered today. each of them impacted me. even though it's hard to see so much pain, it's met with this joy in seeing that many are calling upon and trusting in the lord. i felt so close to the lord in those moments today. i can only hope that this is why:


“Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:34-40


i feel blessed that i have been given an opportunity to serve and encounter jesus in such powerful ways. thanks be to god.

ps...then, i ended the day with kk and kyle at a yummy restaurant called reef. my time with them was life-giving. i am so thankful for their friendship. thanks for celebrating my life with me!! and, look how fun one of our desserts was!!