the retreat

required event for ordination: singles clergy retreat. sounded like a nightmare to me at first. i prayed it was not 2 days focused on "embracing your singleness" and/or how the church "needs" people like us. they wouldn't have been ready for all my emotions, i'm sure of it.

opening worship: the preacher said something to the effect of "i didn't realize until i got here that i was preaching to single CLERGY. i have actually never thought about how hard it must be for you all." note: the tone was of sheer surprise...not that he didn't know who we were, but simply that we ARE single clergy...it was like he had never thought about US before...all of the sudden i was put in a category. that was exactly what i did not want to highlight for 2 days. i silently cried throughout most of the sermon.

praise the lord. in comes dr. jo bailey wells, one of my professors from duke. she was our speaker for the retreat. she never once made me think about my singleness in the way i did during that first hour. she was there to lead us through isaiah's call story. she was there on behalf of God to teach us about God's holiness, confession, forgiveness, to help me reaffirm my call into full-time ministry, and to lead me in a time of renewal of mind, body and spirit. literally, my mind was renewed through the in depth, yet devotional study on isaiah 6:1-8. my body was renewed through a long walk amidst the trees and around the lake and through a game of tennis. my spirit was renewed through the fellowship of good friends, the intentional prayer time, the music and a game of bananagrams, my new FAVORITE game!

the retreat reminded me once again about how important it is to schedule times of retreat. maybe we can't all take 2 days away, but we can start with a small increment of time each day.

below are some of the creative writings i wrote on the retreat. the first one is my attempt to capture my vision of God. jo told us that "holy" is used to describe God. in the time of the writers, saying a word 2x in a row was the superlative. so, holy, holy would have been supreme holiness. however, in an attempt to express God's holiness as beyond the superlative, they wrote it 3x...a super superlative! beyond our imagination.

A Vision of God

Holy, Holy, Holy
Sitting on a throne
Yet filling the earth.

Holy, Holy, Holy
Listening to our cries
Yet desiring to be heard.

Holy, Holy, Holy
Limiting my insight
Yet revealing graciously.

the second one i wrote was trying to capture my confession. we were lead into a time of confession the second night, where we all spoke our confession aloud in front of the group...eyes closed, heads bowed. after the confessions, we sung "kyrie elesion" which translates, "lord, have mercy."

A Confession

Isaiah’s gift was speaking
Yet he had unclean lips.
Isaiah confesses.
God forgives with the
Touch of live coals.

My gift is listening
Yet I have prideful ears.
I confess.
God forgives with the
Sound of the Kyrie.

the last one i wrote is pretty self explanatory, i hope.

The Safest Place

The sailor’s storm
Finds her at sea
Longing for the harbor
To be safe.
Yet tossing the cargo
And riding the waves
Tied to the Mast
Is the safest place.