It’s been a while since I have mused in blog form. Another reason I am thankful for today…I am taking the time to do things I love. It helps me to put my thoughts down on paper (or online in this case)…it’s like it holds me more accountable…not just to myself, but to God.
While most of the Houstonians were watching the game today, I took a wonderful nap on the couch and then ventured outside for a walk. I still don’t know who won the game, but I am sure the second I log on to facebook, therein lies the answer. My walk was much more important though, so I have no regrets.
My walking destination was Hermann Park in the Museum District. A few stops down on the rail and I had arrived. However, when I got off the rail I realized that I had never walked the loop around Rice University, so I made a game-time decision and crossed Main St.
I noticed all the “pretty people” jogging. No one was making eye contact, which bothered me at first, but then I just accepted it and chose not to look up either. I noticed all the buildings that made up the campus and thought about all the learning that takes place inside the walls of that university. I reflected on my time at Duke…I was just as proud of my higher education as any one of those smart Rice people, so I found myself walking proudly in my DUKE tshirt. I noticed all the beautiful homes, lined with huge trees. Before too long, I was simply self-absorbed…wishing I was more beautiful, wishing I was jogging instead of walking, wishing I had an MBA, wishing I had a quaint little bungalow lined with trees.
After I finished the loop, I was pretty content with the exercise portion of my day, so I headed towards the rail. I crossed back over Main St. to the rail platform, but something was drawing me to keep going and cross over Fannin St. to the park…my original destination. I thought, “Okay, I’ll just take a stroll around the reflection pool and then head home.” So, I crossed the street.
I noticed all the kids playing ball. I noticed all the families placed on blankets that were too small sharing a bag of chips. I noticed the teenage couples who think they’re in love. I noticed the new dad taking video of his wife and tiny infant. I noticed the homeless men and women taking a nap. I noticed lots of people who weren’t “pretty people.” I noticed the ducks swimming in the dirty water. There was life all around me, and it felt so different from my loop across the street. I was so taken by the scene that I sat and watched kids play in the fountains…their giggles, as the water from the ground squirted them in the face, were infectious. A little boy with big blue eyes came up to me and said hello…he was not afraid to make eye contact.
I found myself thinking about God. I wondered what God thinks when God looks down on us, especially those of us who polarize ourselves with our higher education, beautiful homes and self-absorbed thoughts. I found myself wondering about the lives of those around me. I wondered if they knew God. I wondered if they felt loved. I wondered if they wished they were on the other side of the street.
I am not sure why this little venture outside today impacted me so much, but I was reminded of something pretty fundamental: I know God loves each of us very much, but when we become self-absorbed it breaks God’s heart. God is calling each of us to cross the street and experience life that causes us to think about God and others. Now my task is to figure out how to best put this belief into action. I feel led to do something more, but I don’t know what that something more is right now. May God forgive me for being self-absorbed and may this musing (and any of you!), hold me more accountable to listening to God for some answers.