the hold

holding hands has always been something significant for me. it's hard to explain, but grasping the hand of another person makes one feel connected and at the core of us i think we all have a deep desire to feel connected to something other than ourselves. it's in our nature. we were created in the image of God, an intimate connection between the father, son and holy spirit, we were created for the purpose of loving and being connected to God, and we are commanded to love and be connected to our neighbor. well, this deep desire was fulfilled for a moment for me today.

as i approached her bed i suspected that she was asleep. just as i was about to turn and walk away, she opened her eyes and then locked them with mine, so i introduced myself. to my surprise, she was unable to respond with words. she just stared at me. i was stuck. how was i to communicate with someone who could not speak to me? i patted her hand and muddled something to the effect of "i just wanted to stop by to see how you were doing. may god bless you and keep you."

i was ready to leave. i was uncomfortable. but just as i was about to turn again, she grabbed my hand. all of the sudden this weak woman had a strong hold of my hand and would not let go. she began making sounds, trying to speak, but i understood nothing. i smiled and nodded. her grip grew tighter. she "spoke" to me for about 3-5 minutes, which felt like eternity. my heart was breaking, and i wanted to know so badly what she was saying to me but her stroke was preventing that. a few tears gently rolled down her cheek. i apologized for not understanding.

it took me a while to get there, but i finally got to a place where i realized i could say things/ask her things that only required a head nod. i remember saying "you know God loves you, don't you?" she nodded yes. "you know God is with you, knows your every thought and understands you perfectly, right?" she nodded yes. then a word i understood: PRAY. i asked her if she wanted me to pray for her and she nodded yes. after the prayer was over she clearly articulated, "THANK YOU." then a tear gently rolled down my cheek. she still had a hold of my hand. i promised her i would come back tomorrow.

the reality is that i could have sat there and held her hand all day long. although i was unable to communicate with her in a way that was comfortable to me, i was blessed by feeling connected to another human being in the presence of God. i don't know if i met her needs today, but a deep desire of mine was satisfied and that is a gift i will treasure forever. never underestimate the significance of holding another's hand.