the peace

two totally amazing experiences in the last two days:

1. i met a man in the hospital who i will never forget. he is hiv+ and a virus has attacked his body that is shutting it down at a rapid pace. two weeks ago he was "perfectly fine." two days ago he hurt, but he was walking. yesterday, he was using a bedpan for the first time, because he could not get out of bed.

he had been waiting for me to come. he wept loudly as i held his hand. he told me that he didn't want to die. he was scared. i was sad. he asked me to call upon the Lord for him because he needed to feel God in that moment. now i was scared. i prayed. i cried as i prayed. he found a place of peace. one of his quotes will remain with me forever:

"hope is that soft whisper in your heart that says everything's going to be okay." i love that. i hope that he feels that.

2. i spent today on a "silent retreat" at the ruah center in houston. what a gift. i arrived at 8:45am for a tour of the place. then, i met with a spiritual director for about an hour. she gave me some scripture to meditate on. genesis 15:1-6. i had taken 3 books thinking i would read a little from each, pray a little, maybe listen to my ipod. little did i know, that scripture was all i needed. i read it in the chapel. i journaled about it. i thought about it over lunch. i painted/colored images that came from it. it informed my prayers for myself, my family and my friends. God spoke to me through it all day long. i found a place of peace.

this is what i wrote before i left:

~outside~

silence.
a gift given
in a beautiful place
where hospitality blooms
in the midst of winter.
where sun shines
through windows of a dark chapel.
where scripture speaks
to a girl
wanting to be led
outside
to count the stars
placed in the sky
by the One who loves her.

~will she trust Him?